I like messy people; people who don’t fit in a box or stay between the lines, but whose integrity is greater than any rule book and whose loyalty is stronger than blood. — Jim Wern
This month marks 3 years for me in New York City. And oh, what a long, short, incredibly bizarre journey it has been! I can genuinely say that I treasure the life I’ve built for myself here. It hasn’t always been pleasant, but I learn important lessons daily, and good times have been plentiful.
Not only have I managed to grow into a semi-independent woman (at least for the most part), but I’ve also had many eye-opening experiences that taught me about the person I was, the person I am now, and the person I hope and know I have the power to become…
I write this feeling more confident than I’ve been in a while, having just spent a magical weekend in Connecticut with three of my dearest girlfriends. We rented a precious cabin in the woods that I’m pretty sure was designed for fairy princesses.
While I am proud of the numerous strides I’ve made since uprooting from my comfortable life in California (for a much more exciting one, granted), I also recently had my eyes opened to the fact that I’ve adopted a tendency to shut myself out from the people I love most – usually during times of turmoil.
Strange thing (and perhaps the reason it went unnoticed) is this is a very new tendency for me. The city can be blinding in certain ways, and if you aren’t extremely aware, you run the risk of acquiring certain traits that I, personally, find to be less than desirable.
Let’s be real…nobody here has it easy. But the strong ones keep on moving. Fortunately, if you are good you don’t have to do it all by yourself all of the time.
This “awakening”, so to speak, was accompanied by feelings of sadness, embarrassment, but, ultimately, gratitude. I am incredibly lucky to have made real friends during the relatively short time I’ve been here. You know, the kind of friends you can laugh with, cry hysterically in front of, reveal secrets to, and who will also call you out on the bullshit.
It is easy to become buried by burden, and at times feel like you have nothing…we are human. But so far, in my experience, having friends cool enough to give you a smack in the fucking face when you need it is far more powerful than any struggle. Just like all relationships (romantic, platonic, whatever), friendship is a two-way street and you get what you give. You should be able to lean on one-another…you should also be willing to provide and receive tough love!
So this one goes out to my East Coast family. Thank you CC, Bonnie and Serena for reminding me what actually matters, and to the rest of my tried-and-true…you know who you are. LOVE YOU to the moon and back. <3